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How to have more sex!

Written by Emily on October 5th 2015

One of the perks of being in a healthy relationship is having sex on demand. Unless of course one of you has fucked up, like forgetting an anniversary or not noticing a new hair cut! Let’s be honest, the pitfall of single life is waking up on a Sunday morning in a cold bed and no naked person next you. I don’t care what you say, until they invent a vibrator that can hug and kiss you, going solo is just not the same. And my research confirms that the same goes for you men out there and your hand.

So let’s not pretend that on every date we singles go on, sex is not in the forefront of our minds.

For men, it tends to be pretty simple. Is she …

a) Attractive

b) In my league (or above)

c) Not outwardly crazy


But for women, it tends to be a little more complex.

Men, listen up. This is how to have more sex in 3 easy steps!

1) Hold open the door

2) Take charge of the plan

3) Show no fear


Makes no sense? Let me illustrate!

Yesterday, I was thinking about a client of mine. She is gorgeous, successful and single.

All her working life she has been proving herself in a world full of men. She was working harder, faster and smarter, only to be paid slightly less and overlooked for promotion time and time again. And so she did what she needed to do in order to thrive in the business world. She took on a more masculine presence, her language, tone, style, haircut, attitude (the list goes on but you get it).

She basically grew metaphorical bollocks.

And it served her well. She began to be noticed, listened to and eventually promoted to the positions she aspired to hold. Now this isn’t a blog about equal rights. Far from it and (I say this with respect) piss off with your comments about how a woman shouldn’t have to compromise her femininity to be paid the same as men. I agree but hell, that’s the truth of it. Stay with me here.

This masculine way of being which was so important to her career success, began spilling out into other areas of her life.

She began to apply her decision making strategies to eating out.

“I like this Italian restaurant. I’ve made reservations”

Her demeanour proceeded her, even outside of the office.

“I am more than capable of opening my own door thank you very much.”

And her no nonsense approach to business became her general attitude to life.


So in one of our first sessions, this confident, business savvy client of mine was bemoaning how tough the dating world was.

And here it is.

Women want to be women. And men need to be men.

In this world where women can provide financial security for themselves and their families, where household duties and child rearing can be shared between partners and the traditional roles of man and woman are changing, we can so often forget about the biological nature of the sexes.

Men like to woo, and women like to be wooed. Bring back some romance I say! It doesn’t mean women have to be subservient or that the man has power, but dude, hold open the door for me!

I’m as feminist as they come. I don’t wear a bra to burn for God’s sake! But I don’t need to chop off a guy’s dick to prove my equality in this world. And that’s just what I told my client.

So on her next date, she let him book the restaurant, open the door and be a man. She took off her trouser suit and played with a more feminine appearance. And guess what! She actually fancied him. And he fancied her. He adored that she was strong, independent and successful. But he also loved the way she was fun and light and flirty. He felt proud to hold open the door for her and was chuffed that she liked the restaurant he had picked, and she loved that he could match her energy and be a man that could handle her. And that meant he got some… and so did she. And, what’s even more exciting is that they are still dating now.

So guys, be a man. And ladies, let him!

For more dating tips or relationship advice, get in touch here!




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