Yesterday I was browsing Facebook and a friend of mine from the UK made a comment about having an offer accepted on a big, run down house which he’s going to renovate. Knowing how hard this friend had worked on renovating his current house (which sold days ago) I was over the moon for him and duely made a congratulatory comment on his status.
A few hours later, another one of his friends unknown to me, also made a comment on his status and so a notification popped up and I read what she’d said.
“You sure have all the luck.”
I was shocked at her response. Luck has nothing to do with the hard work that my friend invested into his previous property which sold for a profit and ultimately allowed him to buy this next house.
Luck has nothing to do with the hours of research he’s put into the property market or the networking he’s done and the people he’s talked to so that he ensures that he knows when great opportunities come onto the market.
Luck has nothing to do with the 6 (if not 7) days a week he spends working and growing his own business which funds these renovations and luck certainly has nothing to do with my friend’s attitude to life which has seen him come up against all sorts of obstacles and persevere regardless. To comment “you sure have all the luck” not only takes away from my friends astounding achievements, but also says a lot about how this girl lives her life. And I understand, because I used to think like this too. Other people have all the luck. Life is easier for them.
Opportunity knocks on their door, not mine.
I used to think that life happened to me. That good things happened to some and not to others. I too used to believe that some people were just luckier than others. And that attitude served me well. Yep, you heard me. It served me well.
It meant that I didn’t have to make decisions (because life dictated) or that I wasn’t responsible (because life dictated) or that other people were to blame (because life dictated). For years, I struggled to find a job which I enjoyed. And I had such articulate excuses for it such as ‘It’s the economy’ ‘I wasn’t born with a passion for anything like so and so was for teaching’ ‘I’ll start looking when I feel better about it all’. You may know people who seem to place blame externally a lot and say things like ‘it’s my ex wife’s fault…. I wasn’t given the right start in life…. I didn’t get good enough grades at school….’ And these things may be true, but how satisfying is life when you live this way? How do these reasons for not doing something translate into joy, courage, love, empowerment or success? People who have reasons (excuses) like this are living at the Effect of the world around them. For me, this was a really fearful place full of excuses and stories. I totally outsourced my power and had no control over the life I was living. It was a depressing place.
The moment I started being the Cause for my happiness, taking responsibility for my life and realising that I had a choice, my “luck” changed. I began choosing what I focused on, what I would make it mean and what action I would take as a result of it. I was empowered to make decisions and took full responsibility for the outcomes. I found Coaching and it changed my life and now, I’ve made it my job. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t luck, and it wasn’t life doing me a favour. It was me, working hard, dreaming big and picking myself up and trying again when life threw curve balls my way. Because life will. It’s inevitable.
You can either live at Effect of these curve balls, or be at Cause in what you do with them, just the way my friend does. His achievements aren’t luck. They’re hard work. And those who say they’re luck, will never reap the kind of rewards that he does. You too have the choice. Will you be the one who thinks luck happens, or the friend who goes out and makes his own luck? Cause or Effect. Which do you choose?